And no, not one of them is a turtle dove. Whether they’re becoming literary superstars, breaking the “stunt cock” mold or literally embodying gay Jesus himself, they’re the real gifts we need this Christmas. But since since six geese-a-laying and a bunch of turtle doves seem unsanitary - not to mention a violation of city ordinances - we decided to gift you with 12 of something better: A handful of sex workers you should absolutely know about.
In the infamous carol “The 12 Days of Christmas,” the singer brags about all the bossy gifts their “true love” gave them for the holidays.
